Don't Blame Me, I Voted For Tony Stark!
by Baroness Emma
Summary: Election Day plus Iron Man equals Crack!fic. !woot! Set between IM1 and IM2


**WARNING** - To all those with strong political leanings, who have the blessing of clear cut beliefs, and who simply practice what they preach, I endeavour to remind you that this is a work of humor, and not intended to display my own political thoughts or understanding, nor meant to infer my opinion of anyone else's intelligence or convictions.

This is all in fun, and Crack!fic, to boot.

In other words - this fic has not been evaluated by the FDA, and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

Thank you, and enjoy.

* * *

**Don't Blame Me, I Voted For Tony Stark!**

The second quarter earnings were way below nominal. Pepper sighed. That was the problem when a huge weapons company no longer invested in wartime applications - manufacturing went right down the drain.

The new "mascot" of SI wasn't helping much either. Iron Man might be great at getting people's attention, but a red-and-gold tin can didn't do very much when it came to scaring up some useful things to manufacture and sell - _especially_ when Tony vetoed the action figure and lunch box prototypes he had seen. "We're an innovative and _grown-up_ company now, Pep," he had said, with that irritating new level of earnestness, "We're not blasted Mattel."

Her jaw had jutted slightly, "But Mattel _exceeded_ it's second quarter earnings projections, Tony, and if we don't _do_ something, and soon, we're going to start resembling Enron."

He had smirked, "Never let it be said that Tony Stark provided unsatisfactory services without a follow-though - whoa there Pep, it's okay - ", and he had raised a hand to ward off her exasperated objections, "I'll think of something, don't I always?"

And she had rolled her eyes and sighed lightly - because yes, he did, but. . . well. . . anyone who knew him would readily admit that there was more than one reason to want Tony Stark on a leash. And chained. And gagged. And frozen in carbonite. While in a coma.

But not dead.

Well. . .

She shook her head; no, not actually dead. Because he DID always think of something, and even if it was wildly impossible, it was always brilliant.

And that was reason enough in itself for her to want to stay, and for her to want him alive. Because brilliance needed to be preserved. Even if it was from the _idiot_ who happened to possess that brilliance.

And now, two weeks later, he had called her to his office, quite seriously requesting a meeting with her.

He welcomed her, and gestured for her to sit.

This was either very good or very _bad_.

"So, I was thinking, Pep, why don't I run for president?"

Yep. Option two.

"Um. . . . . . ." she was suddenly trying to imagine "Shoot to Thrill" being the new National Anthem.

"Yeah, just think about it - real good income, lots of publicity, and all SORTS of pawning responsibilities off on Congress - hey, I think I kinda do that anyway - and it would fix - "

"No, Tony."

"No?"

"No."

"Why not? Don't think I could get the votes?" He preened, most unnecessarily.

"No, it's not that. . ."

"Don't think I could pick a cabinet?" he looked at her, pointedly - well of _course _he could pick people who were good at their job. . . .

"Um, Tony, I don't think you understand. . ."

"And just think! I could be the _first_ President in history to never need to accept a bribe. . . how about that, huh?"

"Welllllll. . . ."

"And I'm already used to the publicity, and there's nothing better than being a superhero when it comes to international diplomacy."

"TONY!"

"What?"

"_Stop_ it, for a second, and _listen_ to me!"

He sighed - "Okay, shoot."

She closed here eyes for a moment and composed herself.

"You do realize, don't you, that this would mean more boring meetings than ever before?"

He waved his hand nonchalantly "I'd cope."

"It would also mean taking on diplomats and professional politicians, and if you think terrorists are the tough nuts, you haven't even _seen_ the real battles yet."

He shrugged.

"Not to mention that the most likely person you could have over to dinner would be Angela Merkel."

He grinned.

She was getting desperate, "Paperwork? That you would _have_ to understand?"

He got even more perky, "No problem! I'd also _really_ rock the the National Defense system - and have I mentioned that _as_ a holder of a Masters Degree, I'd _really_ be interested in education?"

She sighed, and brought out the big guns.

"Tony, you do know that IF you were to do all this, you'd have to be a Republican?"

He frowned, "Why?"

"Because you are a _superhero_ - and they _always_ back the lost causes."

He raised an eyebrow, "Price of winning all the time, I guess."

"Yes."

"Sooooooooo. . . no?"

"No."

"You're sure."

"Totally."

"So, Miss Potts, _how_ are we going to make up this quarter's earnings deficit?"

"Actually, Mr. Stark, I have a couple of ideas about that. . . ."

* * *

At the board meeting two months from then, Tony sat across the table from Pepper, and quite graciously let her take the credit for coming up with SI's new line of t-shirts, bumper stickers, and coffee mugs - but when the whole board laughed at their brand new best-selling line of items, he made up his mind, then and there. EVERY single member of the board (except Pepper, of course) was going to get _nothing_ for a Christmas Bonus - except a bright red t-shirt with gold lettering that said - "Don't Blame Me - I Voted For Iron Man!"

And that New Year's, he was very pleased to see that Pepper's new Audi sported one of his bumper stickers too.

Hmm. Maybe he _could_ get her vote. . . for _real_. . .

Soon. . .


End file.
